[The fourth installment of previously published articles, with additions and corrections.]
"A Meecham excels at everything. They always do the best. Meechums eat nails while other kids are sucking on cotton candy." Lt. Col. Bull Meechum in "The Great Santini" by Pat Conroy.
While this represents an extreme position, many people grow up with excessive and irrationally high self-expectations. Such a message creates a constant state of stress and an approach to life that is driven and competitive in the worst way possible. Continuous critical commentary in our brain makes some people driven and totally destroys others. The irrational belief is: "I must be thoroughly competent and adequate in everything I do. I should not be satisfied with myself unless I am the best!" A four-star Michelin chef in France tragically displayed the destructive power of irrationality. Fearful of losing his restaurant's high ranking, he expected perfection of himself and his staff. The pressure of performance took its toll and he committed suicide rather than face being less than the best. Sadly, as it often is with irrationality, his fear did not come to be. After his death the restaurant rankings came out and he had retained all of his "stars."
Jesus was familiar with this "need to succeed" among the Scribes and Pharisees of his day (Matthew 23:11f) and even among his own disciples (Mark 9:33f and Luke 9:46).
Thank God that in the church of today we have no need for competition for whom will be the greatest or the best. Praise be to the Lord that we have learned of Jesus and practice his teaching that the first shall be last, the one who would be a leader must be a servant, and that the least is to be the greatest. Blessed are we that act consistently with Jesus' single criterion of receiving children in Jesus' name; all of God's children, no matter how tall or short, how young or old, no matter the tint of skin. God loves us when we are true to our own "child of God-ness", not only when we are the one and only best one of all.
Our Beltways' baseball teams, the Nationals and the Orioles, are both doing well this season. What is a good batting average in pro-ball? What is a good batting average for God's team? Jesus told a story about the answer to what God expects from one of God's batters. In the parable of the Sower and the Seed, the seed fell on four different types of ground. It prospered to harvest in only one of those four settings. Batting average: 250! Not perfect. Not the best.
What are reasonable self-expectations? I will strive to do my best. I can enjoy doing things at any level of performance. I will try things where I might fail; I'm fallible, and failing means that I am open and growing. Taking risks is courageous and is a necessity if I'm to grow and experience new life opportunities. [Repeat out loud as needed. Not to exceed 2-3,000 times in any 24-hour period.] The Scriptures are full of God choosing people who did not consider themselves, nor were they considered by others, as the best: Abram, Sarah, Moses, Esther, Rahab, Ruth, Mary the Mother, Mary Magdalene, Joseph, Peter, Paul. "The best" is not what God wants. God wants us to be who we are on the spiritual journey to becoming the best that God can make us.
Paul is vulnerably open in letter to the church at Rome (7:7ff): I don't understand what I do. I do not do what I want, but I do the thing I hate. Yet this self-described "wretched man" is a chosen one of God and Jesus. A Saint of the faith and the best that was available to the struggling early church. No more, no less is what is asked of us when God "comes a knocking". Jesus was asked, "Then who can be saved?" and replied, "With human beings it is impossible, but with God, all things are possible," Including using children, God's children, as the best.
[Please feel free to share comments, questions, disagreements, and silly stories. RoB]