"It's easier to avoid than to face certain life difficulties and responsibilities."
The original of this article featured the above quote followed by a blank page with this at the bottom: "Dear Readers, I don't feel like writing my column this month. Shalom, Rob
Problem Avoidance: "It's easier to avoid than to face certain life difficulties and responsibilities." [Paul Hauck, Brief Counseling with RET, Westminster Press, 1980]
"TIS A PUZZLEMENT" (the King of Siam in "The King and I").
I received more comments (all positive) on the blank page article than any others in the previous nine years. The following is the opening paragraph of the next post:
"What does this mean? I offer a challenge to explore this mystery with me - I will thoughtfully consider that my writing is less, how shall I put this, 'expressive' than I thought it was (in that an essentially blank piece of paper got more reaction than nine years of words), if you will thoughtfully consider that the reaction may relate to the irrational belief on hand. Specifically, think about how you respond to the responsibility of positive feedback. Is it an area of 'problem avoidance'? Is it easier to say nothing than to expend the energy to transmit a positive piece of feedback? Are we more comfortable with negative responses than sharing positive ones? Do we send more thorns than we do roses?'
In the Gospel of Luke (14:28ff), we have two stories related to planning and problem avoidance. How many of us have been part of a grand plan that in the process turned out to be not so grand because it wasn't a real plan to start with? [NB: the six P's of good leadership - proper planning prevents piss-poor performance.] There too many examples lately of the negative consequences of avoiding good planning, in personal lives, community building and in going to war. What seems to be the quickest and easiest answer in the short run often becomes the longest and hardest situation in the long haul. War in the Middle East has been going on for 5,000 years among the same groups of people. In the DMV we see millions of dollars misspent on transportation debacles and building projects which sit unfinished or unoccupied. Avoidance of reality is almost always a short-sighted solution to life.
A more rational and spiritually responsible position would be something like this: "I'll do those necessary things no matter how much I dislike them. Living is just that; resting and avoiding are often legitimate intervals in a full life, but they are deadly if they occupy the major part of my life."
The story of the Father of the Prodigal Son (Luke 15) makes the point clearly. After the wayward son repents of his poor planning and avoidance of responsibility, he goes home ready to apologize to his father and to accept the consequences of his actions. The total amount of pain and suffering in the family would have been less had the son stayed home and worked out the issues in the family with his father and brother.
Accepting responsibility for our life is the focus of the story of the Good Steward (Matthew 25 & Luke 19). God gives us life situations that are not necessarily like those of others or like what we want (the money that was given into the steward's care). God also expects us to carry out the responsibility we have in those situations (when the landlord returns and asks for an accounting). Life goes better when we continue to grow in our awareness and acceptance that we are called to resolve issues and problems in spiritually healthy ways.
[Comments, questions, discussions, disagreements and silly stories are invited. Next in series: Dependency]