Nike struck gold with its motto: “Just do it!” An older version was: “Don’t just stand there, do something.” Applicable at times, as well as: “Don’t just do something, stand there.”
Military personnel and other first responders around the world have learned that to go fast, you must slow down.
Night and day, the seasons of the year, the tides and the phases of moon are spoken of and used as if they are dichotomous, separate events. In the real world, like Yin and Yang, they are connected pieces of one element that flow into and out of each other - possibly similar to the flow of emotions between parents and children or partners in a committed relationship.
“You don’t understand me” is often followed in an argument by “Don’t try to read my mind.” Instead of putting energy into clear and accurate communication we often try to blame others for our poor results or try to get them to be wholly responsible for the less than desired outcome. “You don’t understand” is often a euphemism for “You don’t agree with me.” Specks and logs in eyes.
Assertive is good if I’m doing it or if I agree with your proposition. If not, then you are being overly aggressive in your posturing. One is regularly confused for the other when gender is involved.
I want you to speak your mind and to know what you are thinking. And when you do it comes across as controlling, condescending or lecturing.
Not many of the people I know take baths or showers using separate hot & cold water faucets. It has been years since I had to deal with two equally uncomfortable sources without a mixer valve to adjust the temperature. Yet I see people all the time bouncing between too much and too little. An old adage about neurosis and narcissism is that the first has too much guilt and the second, not enough. Balance is achieving differentiation between cut-off (not enough) and enmeshment (too much). Balance is reaching for personality growth in the area of inter-dependence, rather than dependence (or co-dependence) or independence (or counter-dependence).
The two sides of a shared bed are always too hot and too cold.
Pair – a – docs………
Questions, comments, discussion, disagreements, and silly stories are invited and welcomed. RoB